Shelby’s Run

Run in 40:21
129th of 336

I have A LOT to say about this run.  So you might want to grab a snack and a drink.

Shelby’s Run 10K/5K/1K walk is the 5K I ran last weekend.  It was…. An experience. They finally got the results posted yesterday, so I thought I’d better get this out of the way before we go out of town and I don’t have internet/cell service to post this.

Shelby’s Run raises money for St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital.   According to the website, Shelby Grover was a little girl who died in 2007 from an inoperable brain tumor.  Shelby’s Run was started in her memory.

When the alarm went off at 7 AM I was up and at ‘em!!  “It’s racing day!”  The Husband was less enthusiastic.  It was his first racing day.  Heh, but he’s not as excitable as I am.  😉  Breakfast was a spinach salad with sunflower kernels and Asian dressing, and a cup of Tazo Ōm tea.  Yum!

The race started at 9 A.M. so we were there by 8:30 to pick up our T-shirts and get our bib numbers.  The start was at Clever H.S. and when we arrived there were a lot of people already there.  There was this huge group of little girls all wearing orange shirts.  I later found out they were all part of “Girls On the Run”.  What a cool group!!!

Now, as previously stated, this was “an experience”.  The first “off” thing that caught my eye were the number of people wearing mp3 players.  The rules CLEARLY stated no headphones.  I was okay with this because I know I need to get used to that.  But this was The Husband’s first race and he would have been more comfortable with music to help him keep a rhythm.  It was very disappointing to see that they WERE allowed.  Sorry, The Husband.  Booooooo.

We wandered in and out of the gym a few times so The Husband didn’t get overheated.  Too many people in the gym.  We walked back and forth to the car a couple of times to drop off t-shirts and water bottles and get his phone.  Then decided we’d hit the head.  Dude!!!!  The bathrooms??  Oh man.  The whole hallway smelled like shit.  Literally.  Shit.  I was cracking up.  Once I got INTO the bathroom (ladies, you know how those lines are) I realized it must be the men stinking the school up.  Ha ha!

One of the times we wandered outside I noticed that alongside the snack/water/Powerade tables was an old dude with a table of bibles.  Really??  Heh.  Whatever.  Made sure not to get too close to that table.  Didn’t want to be responsible for the lightening hurting anyone….

FINALLY it was time to get started.  And by started, I mean at 9 o’clock, they corralled everyone into the gym.  The guy with the mic thanked everyone for coming, gave props to the “Girls On the Run” group (again, super awesome kids!), blah blah blah.  I say that because it was hot in there.  HOT!!!  And the dogs were restless.  Lots of people brought their dogs.  More on that later…
I tuned back into what the dude was saying and realized… HE’S READING SCRIPTURE.  And he’s acting like we all KNOW these passages.  Um, yea, no.   I was now super not happy about standing in this hot gym with all these people and their dogs LISTENING TO SCRIPTURE.  Ugh.  The Husband said he needed to go to the head again, so I followed.  Screw this God/Jesus/Bible noise.   **Interesting note: Clever is in CHRISTIAN County.**

When we came back in, he was telling everyone to bow their heads in prayer.  No thanks.  I started looking around and saw my friend Josie sitting in the bleachers!!  And, HAHA!!, she was looking around like me!!  But she didn’t see me.  So while these Jesus people (and the ones too embarrassed to NOT bow their head and pretend) prayed, I texted Josie “What the hell are you doing here?”  I saw her head come up and she reached in her pocket as her teenage daughter looked at her like, “Are you serious?”  HAHAHAHAHA!!!  (Sorry, Miranda!!!)  I finally caught her eye as the prayer ended and went over to say hi.  Her daughter, Francis, was in the gigantic group of awesome little girls in orange shirts!!!  BadASS!!!!  It was her first 5K.  I wished her luck and told her to have fun.  What a beautiful smile she has!!!!  Like pure sunshine, I tell you!!!

“Here’s how the waves will go…”  10K first.  Then 1K walkers.  Then 5K.  Weird, but okay.  Oh, and the maps they had up?  Not super helpful.  More on that in a minute…  Their instructions on where to line up in the parking lot included “at the big crack”.  Should have realized at THAT  point…

The Husband and I lined up.   Not in the FRONT front, but not too FAR from the front.  I wanted to avoid the dogs if possible.  And finally off we went!  “Good luck!” I told The Husband, and then I ran off.  I was following the GOOD sized group of 5K runners in front of me.  I’m not familiar with Clever and for some reason, coming out of the parking lot, everything looked totally different to me than when we checked it out a few days before.  Oh well.

About the dogs… I have nothing against dogs (more likely to have a problem with their owners), and I think it’s cool people bring their dogs to run.  As long as the dogs are under control, not running all over the place and dragging the owner along for the ride.  And as long as they’re not SHITTING ON THE ROAD IN FRONT OF ME.  Guess what shoes I was running in?  Yea, VFF’s.  Guess how disgusting that would have been if I had run through the large pile of dog shit?  I almost did, too.  Because the woman realized what was happening and tried to get off the road, but was cutting people off in the process.  Grrrr…..

I said “oh well” about things not looking familiar.  NOT “oh well”.  We ended up going about 2 blocks PAST the first turn.  And please understand this means we ran past 2 or 3 people wearing yellow vests that had they been paying attention should have TOLD people they were going the wrong way!!!  EVERYONE was going the wrong way!!!  *sigh*  So we all turned around and had to run AGAINST the sea of people coming at us.  I was yelling and waving to them “5K is that way!”  Sheesh.

Finally, we made the turn into the correct road.  And this is where I got REALLY pissed.  So far I’ve endured scripture, prayer, dog shit, crazy dog OWNERS and having to turn around because they didn’t mark the course.  NOW, I keep getting stuck behind these jackasses that want to WALK (we’ve just started… why the hell are you walking???) 4 across on this country road.  FOUR ACROSS!!!!  Trying to get around them is insane at this point because there are so many of us.  We got so bunched up due to having to turn around that there is no other way to describe this except to say that it’s a cluster-fuck.  *sigh*  And to make matters worse, the road we’re on is shit.  Like I said, it’s a country road.  So while I’m trying to go around all these yahoos, I have to watch for potholes, cracks, divots and DOGS.  And children- if I run into an adult, who cares… If I run into a kid I’m gonna feel bad.

I realize this is very long, but I warned you, geez!!!  Here, I’ll try to sum up the rest:

Pros:
*Those little girls were super awesome to see along the way.  Very determined, smiling, confident young ladies running doing a fantastic job!
*There was this cool old dude wearing a Clever Fire Rescue shirt (I believe he really IS fire rescue), and denim shorts over a pair of blue sweatpants.  He also had on a knee brace.  He made me smile.
*Saw 2 guys running the 5K with their kids in strollers.  Well, I ASSUME they were their kids.  I could be wrong.  But I thought that was great!

Cons:
*There was this kid… a skinny little boy who was probably about 10.  I wanted to pick his skinny ass up and chuck him into a field.  He kept stopping in front of people.  And then, for whatever reason, decided to only do it to ME.  Grrrrrr….. I try not admonish other people’s children.  Not nowadays when you have crazy stupid parents who think little Johnny can do no wrong.  But I really did think about throwing him into the nearest pile of cow shit (there was plenty; did I mention we were in the country?).
*The Husband almost tripped over the same dog 3 times.  What the hell????
*A different kid came to a full stop in front of me at the water table.  Almost plowed him over.
*About ½ mile from the end, the mail had to be delivered.  The mail man was hell bent on getting the mail out.  Almost ran over the kid I wanted to throw in the field.  Meh.

So in conclusion, I’ll do this run again, but with a TOTALLY different attitude.  Josie and I decided we’ll run it next year together just for funsies (but we promise to stay the hell out of the way of the serious runners).

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